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38 Weeks

I am 38 weeks pregnant.

Thanks to diligent doctors, an extremely supportive FIT4MOM Instructor Team, friends and family members, I am more pregnant than I’ve ever been before.

Julia was born two months early so everyone (including myself) thought that Baby Jack would already be here by now.

He’s not.

In fact, he is showing no signs of departure.

And I’m absolutely terrified.

Because Julia was born so early, my husband and I didn’t go to birthing classes. I didn’t learn how to “breathe” or know what to pack for the hospital. We didn’t know that you’re supposed to go to Labor & Delivery… and NOT to the Emergency Room (I often think of the nurse that flew me to L&D – she was fast!). Pooping on the hospital table? Never even crossed my mind.

So this time, even though they say every birth is different, I know what to expect. Unfortunately, it is because I’ve “been there, done that” that I am dreading having this kid exit my uterus at full-term (for reference, Julia was 3.9 lbs…)

So it was maybe the 1,789th time today when I thought about having a full-term baby that I decided Jack needs to exit. His eviction paperwork has been filled out, delivered, and signed by me.

I got a pedicure.

I walked the mall… let me rephrase: I showed off my pregnancy swagger throughout the mall (one-third of it at least) at a leisurely pace.

I bought pineapple.

I thought about doing 60 squats for the FIT4MOM 31-Day Squat Challenge.

I ate yogurt instead.

I took my basset hound son, Leo, for a stroll.

I thought about all of the other ways I could encourage evacuation and fell asleep.

I know. I should be treasuring this pregnancy and appreciative of the fact that my body has made it this far. Instead, I’m freaking out.

And I’ve decided that it’s OKAY. I’m allowed to be scared. I’m giving myself permission to feel all the things I didn’t with my first delivery because I know that once Jack arrives, I’ll forget these fears and be bombarded with new ones.

And you know what? That’ll be okay, too.

*Do you have any tips for labor the 2nd time around? Share them with us!

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